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I'm about 3100 words into a story called "Losing Me".  Losing Me is written as blog entries from a young woman named Madison who has been diagnosed with a degenerative mental and physical illness.  It needs some work and editing, but I'm hoping to get the first entry out in the next week.  Its interesting playing around with some different little tricks of dialogue to show Madison's growing problems with memory, confusion, and her own body while also confronting her fears about her future.

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PART 1

 

            “You did what?” Ashley was shouting.

            “Be quiet,” replied a synthesized voice, “We have neighbours, you know.”

            “You did what?” Ashley hissed, glaring at her roommate, nursing charge, and best friend.

            Amanda looked at Ashley and gave a low, squeaking laugh.  The pumping of her ventilator made it hard to hear, but the look of mischief in her eyes was unmistakable.  She rolled her head into the big green button on her headrest, queuing up more words on her Dynavox.  A line of drool ran from her gaping mouth onto her bib.

            “I put my virginity up for auction on eBay,” her machine spoke.  “I do not get why that is so hard for you to understand.”

            Ashley ground her teeth and stalked over to Amanda’s wheelchair, pointing a finger at her.  “Mandy, you’ve done some insane things before.  Hell, I’ve helped you do some really insane things before, but this is…why?”

            “I did it for the same reason I used your picture,” the synthesized female voice replied.  Amanda snorted, giving another squeaking laugh.

            “You used my picture?”

            “I might have kind of used your bikini picture from last summer.”

            Ashley shook her head and stalked back and forth, fuming.  Finally she threw her hands up in the air.  “Ok, Mandy, just…lay this out for me.  This is nuts!”

            “I thought it was quite simple.  I am 23 years old and I have not had sex.  I cannot get a date.  This is me taking control of my totally non-existent sex life.”  Amanda grunted, her head jerking forward in annoyance.

            Ashley sighed and leaned over, taking the edge of her friend’s terry cloth bib and wiping the drool off Amanda’s face.  “You’re crazy.”

            “Crazy and weird and that is why we are friends.”  Amanda managed to loll her head forward enough to give Ashley a light headbutt.  “But that doesn’t get me any.”

            “Look at my body.  Then look at yours.  Which would YOU rather have sex with?” the machine asked.

            Exasperated, Ashley threw up her hands again.  She was a tall, leggy red head.  People bought her drinks at clubs, she never danced alone, and it wasn’t hard to find a date. 

            Amanda’s small, spastic body sat in a seat of molded pink foam padding.  Her skin was dark, her eyes a pale blue.  If she could stand, which was impossible, or at least fully extend her limbs, Amanda would not have passed 4’2”.  Her body was thin, without muscle tone or mass, her spastic limbs beyond her control.  Bare legs like knobbly kneed sausages were kept apart by a foam block, feet turned so sharply inwards that they touched, arched inwards with toes curled.  Arms held tightly to the chest, one by her belly the other up between her small, firm breasts.  Hands curled inwards so her fingers touched her wrists, torso pushed out and curved to the side from scoliosis.

        She had a small belly, not from fat but rather from her total lack of stomach muscle tone, marred by a g-tube button.  Ventilator hoses fed into her neck and were covered by a black and white checker-board patterned bib.  Amanda’s mouth was wide open, bottom lip curled over her teeth, top lip pulled up to show her gum line, drool pooling out the side.  Curly black hair was tied back in a tail.  Her only clothing were an extra small Dead Kennedys t-shirt, her bib, and the thick, printed adult diaper around her waist.  The diaper looked enormous on her small, twisted body.  It was pink.  She had a whole closet full of different diapers, and selected them based on her mood.

        The wheelchair enveloped her.  It was on a tilt, allowing her to remain in it safely without needing a harness, so long as she wasn’t moved.  Foam blocks and pads supported her under her arms, while contoured foam kept her legs in place.  A disposable blue chuck pad covered the seat under her.  The wheelchair’s frame was bright purple, and had been covered over time with band, TV show, video game, and comic book stickers.  The head rest came around her head and had a switch on either side, one green, the other blue.  Her Dynavox communication device was attached to a swivel arm, set at an easy angle for her to see, while a tablet computer beside it could be controlled with the device’s spoken instructions.

        Amanda grunted.  “You have to admit, Ash: I have a point.”

        “A totally crazy point!”

        “I can’t do this without you.  Please.”  Amanda looked at Ashley with wide eyes. 

        “Mandy…what if the person who wins the auction is a crazy person?  Or some total mouth breather?  You like to let your freak flag fly, I get it…but I’m really worried about how this could turn out…especially when they realize that they’re actually paying to sleep with you, not me.”

        “We have to plan things out.  Be careful.  I am not being stupid about this, Ash.  I need it, and we could use the money.  Please, help me.”

        “Fine.  Ok.  You’ve got…what?  Three weeks on the auction?”

        “Yes.”  Amanda paused, then began tapping her switches again.  “I was thinking that we would schedule the meetup in a hotel.  We book the room.  They can meet us there.  Make sure we have…I don’t know…some kind of panic button in case things go wrong and we get someone really messed up.  Or they get angry.”

        “And if they refuse to do the deed with you?”

        Amanda rolled her head to look Ashley in the eye, holding the other woman’s gaze as she tapped her head against the switches.  “We can give them their money back.  In cash.  But I do not think they will.  I will be damn sexy.”  Her lips curved slightly into what, for Amanda, passed as am impish grin.

            Ashley hit her lightly with a pillow.  “You are such a dork.  And I’m still angry with you over this!  I keep letting you talk me into your crazy plans!”  She looked annoyed, anger rising back up.

            “Without you, I could not see my crazy plans through.”

            “Yeah, and that’s another thing.  Mandy, I’m not just mad that you used my picture here without my permission; I’m angry because you’re just treating me like your surrogate body.  Like I’m…like I’m just a tool that pushes you around, changes your diapers, and does whatever else your nutty little brain desires.”  Ashley crouched down to look Amanda in the eyes, anger giving way to genuine pain.

            “We’re best friends.  We’ve been best friends for years, Mandy, but lately its felt like I’m someone you use rather than someone who helps you out.”

            Amanda lowered her eyes and looked away from Ashley’s gaze.  A low, sad sound emerged from her throat over the rhythm of her ventilator.  Her arms quivered.  She looked up, ashamed, and slowly tapped out her response.

            “You…are…right.  I have taken you for granted.  I am just…frustrated.  I want something, Ash.  I want to enjoy life.  But I can only do that with your help.  Without someone to take me out, I am a couch potato.”

            “I know that I can be difficult.  I have bizarre ideas and I like to express them…but I can only do that if someone else helps me.  People stare at me.  Everywhere.  If they think I look like a freak, I will just be a freak and enjoy it.  I know that makes you feel weird.  But that is me.  It is who I am.  I cannot be anyone else.”

            “And I want to have sex, Ash.  I want to have weird, risky, awkward sex with a stranger.  But I cannot pick someone up at a bar.  I can only get off by asking you to put my vibrator in.  And I apologize.  I am…ashamed…that I have made you feel like a tool.  That is not fair to you.”

            “But without you, Ash, I cannot even live half a life.  I cannot go outside.  I am at your mercy, and you are amazing for putting up with me.  What can I do to make this right?”

            Amanda was panting by the end of her speech.  Her neck ached and a low wheeze of pain crawled out of her throat.  Her arms and legs had begun to weakly spasm while she typed, all her effort focused on the message.  Drool ran down her chin onto her bib.  Tears ran from her eyes, blurring her vision.

            The look of anger on Ashley’s face softened.  She put down the pillow and took an edge of Amanda’s bib, wiping off her mouth, then grabbed a tissue to wipe the tears from her eyes.  “Mandy…I…”  Ashley sighed.  “I get it.  OK.  Lets do this.” 

 

PART 2

 

 

            Ashley sat by the hotel room door, waiting for the knock.  The winning bidder, going by the handle “ZippyGal”, had sent a picture.  She looked to be of average height, with bronzed skin, strong features, black hair, and soft brown eyes.  Early to mid 20s, no facial piercings, hair tied back in a plain pony tail.  All she had sent was a picture, and asked for contact information to arrange the date.  The hotel suite was the best idea Amanda and Ashley had come up with; all that was left to do was wait.

            The two women had arrived there hours ago.  It took time to get Amanda set up to her satisfaction, then make sure she was fed, medicated, suctioned, and changed.  Much as Amanda enjoyed flaunting the extent of her disabilities, she felt that having to watch the mucous be vacuumed out of her throat might be a turnoff.  Once all that was done, Ashley left Amanda alone and went to the door to wait. 

            She didn’t have to wait long.  Ashley was still going over the plan when there came a knock at the door.  She checked the peep hole and saw the woman from the picture.  Ashley opened up the door.  “Well, you must be Zippy Gal,” she said.

            The woman grinned, “That’s me!  And you must be Mandy Panda. Hi, I’m Jane,” she said, offering her hand.  “Wow!  You look JUST like your picture.  I was worried.  Didn’t want to wind up in front of some total weirdo, right?”  She snorted a laugh.

            Ashley laughed nervously and rolled her eyes.  “Yeah…some…total weirdo.  So…do you want to come in?”

            Jane looked side to side, guiltily.  “Well…yes…but I have a confession to make.  See, I *did* place the bid on the auction…it wasn’t for me.”

            Ashley was already turning away from the door to lead Jane in when she stopped mid stride.  “You did what now?”

            “Yeeeeeeah.  It was actually for my sister, Crystal.  She’s been in this *HUGE* slump the last couple years and I thought hey…might as well jump when you’ve got the chance, right?”  Jane stepped back and waved a hand to someone in the hallway.

            The woman who came into view was obviously Jane’s sister, they shared the same sort of face and the same skin colour, but that was where the resemblance ended.  Jane stood tall and easy in skinny jeans, a multi-coloured blouse, and wedge heels.  Her hair was long and straight, tied back and jet black.

            Crystal was a head shorter than her sister.  Her hair was short, spikey, and died bright pink and purple.  She wore glasses and a cream coloured blouse which matched her pinafore, which was covered in pictures of roses.  Purple and pink polka dotted AFO leg braces encased each of her legs up to the knee, and were shoved into a pair of scuffed trainers.  Moving with the aid of purple forearm crutches, Crystal pulled her legs weakly forward.  Each step dragged a braced foot along the ground, her legs unable to fully lift her feet off the ground.  A messenger bag was slung over one of her shoulders, and she looked straight ahead at Jane.  There was a faint rustle and crinkle as she moved; after years of moving around Amanda, Ashley was sure Crystal was wearing a diaper.

            “This is Crystal,” Jane said, still looking guilty.

            “Hi!” Crystal said, her voice raised and slurred.  She looked right at Ashley’s face.  “Oo are vawy pwetty,” she said slowly.  Something clicked in Ashley’s brain.

            “You’re deaf!” she exclaimed, then looked embarrassed, realizing she’d said it out loud.  Crystal, watching her lips, gave a high laugh.

            “Cun oee cum in?” Crystal asked.  Ashley nodded, and the two sisters came in from the hall. Ashley shut the door behind them, and they walked into the living room of the suite.  Crystal dropped onto the sofa with a muted crinkle, and began furiously signing at Jane. 

            “I’ll translate for her,” Jane said, perching herself on the sofa beside her sister, watching Crystal’s fast, graceful hands carefully.

            “ ‘When Jane told me what she had bought at auction, I was shocked.  Angry.  But she is right: I have been in a slump.  I have not had sex in several years.  My last relationship did not end well.  She could not accept being loved because of her own disability, and made me feel bad about my own.’” Jane translated.

            Ashley pulled a chair across from the sisters.  “What disability is that?” she asked.

            “ ‘I have spina bifida.  My legs are partially paralyzed; I have limited feeling in them and they are very weak.  I am incontinent, and wear diapers.’” Crystal rolled her eyes and looked embarrassed.  She looked away for a moment and then back at her sister, continuing to sign. “ ‘I am also completely deaf, as you have figured out.  I can read lips, but it is difficult for me to speak well, or quickly, so Jane interprets for me.’”

            Jane paused as Crystal signed something else, then signed back, talking while she did so for Ashley’s benefit. “No, sis, I am NOT going to tell her that.  You’re being stupid.”

            Crystal looked annoyed, and signed back.  Jane sighed and translated.  “ ‘I hope that I am not too much of a shock to you.  You are very pretty and I would love to have sex with you, but I understand if you do not want to fuck me after meeting me.  I have a very hard time picking up ablebodied women.  They are intimidated having sex with a deaf, diapered cripple.’”

            Ashley looked at the ground, blushing with embarrassment.  “Well, umm…see, the thing is that I haven’t been totally honest with you either.”  Jane signed at Crystal.

            “Aw ma Gad aw oo a GUY!?” Crystal blurted out. 

            Ashley blinked.  “What?  No!  No, its nothing like that!  Look, my crazy roommate used my profile picture because she didn’t think anyone would bid on the auction otherwise!” 

            Jane and Crystal had a furious sign language exchange, leaving Ashley in silence.  Finally, Jane spoke up.  “Well, where is she?  Can we meet her?”

            Standing up, Ashley sighed.  “Yeah, you might as well.  Look, we both understand if you want your money back.”

            “Lets just get this over with,” Jane replied, annoyed.  “This is all crazy!”

            “That’s what I said!” Ashley and Crystal blurted out at the same time.  Jane looked at both of them, and burst out laughing.  Crystal signed something to her, and Jane signed back.  Crystal began laughing as well.

            “But seriously.  We need to meet your roommate,” Jane said, helping Crystal up and passing her back the crutches.

            Ashley led them to the bedroom of the suite, and opened the double doors.

            Amanda was positioned in the middle of the queen sized bed, lying on a large disposable blue chuck pad.  She was propped up with foam pillows and blocks, her switches arranged on foam to either side of her head, with her Dynavox angled from her wheelchair to face her.  A portable ventilator was set up on the table next to her.  The light in the room was set to low, with the bedside lamp on to illuminate her.

            Amanda was naked except for a thick, black diaper with white tapes.  It looked like she was wearing a small pillow around her thin abdomen.  Everything about her was on display.  Her legs, free of the straps and foam block of her wheelchair, crossed spastically over her knees, slightly bent with a pillow underneath for support.  Her right arm was pulled underneath her small, naked breasts, her left turned at her side, hand against her body, elbow pointed up towards the ceiling.  The white g-tube button stood out starkly against the darkness of her skin and her black diaper.  A small black bib was around her neck, overtop of the ventilator hose, which snaked into the portable unit plugged into the wall.  A line of drool ran down onto it.           

            This was one of the rare occasions where Amanda wore makeup or had her hair done.  Bright red, waterproof lipstick was done over her pulled back, drooly lips. She had eye-shadow and mascara, making her pale blue eyes pop, and accentuating them as the only truly expressive part of her face.  Amanda’s hair had been braided into neat cornrows, arrayed around her head on the pillow.

            Amanda jerked her head as the three entered, tapping her head at the switches.

            “Hello.  I am sorry for the deception.  My name is Amanda.  I used Ashley’s picture because I did not think anyone would bid to have sex with me otherwise.”  She looked at Crystal and Jane, expectantly.

            Crystal doubled over laughing.  She lost her balance and was about to fall, but Jane managed to catch her, and maneuvered her over to a chair near the bed.  It took several minutes for Crystal to calm down, and even then she still could contain bouts of giggling.  She signed to Jane, who returned to her role as interpreter and made introductions for them.

            “ ‘Let me get this straight.  You set up the auction with your friend’s picture because you didn’t think anyone would bid otherwise, and my sister won the auction using her picture because she didn’t think you would want to have sex with me?  This is hilarious!’”  As Jane was translating, Crystal broke into another fit of giggles.  Jane just rolled her eyes.

            Amanda tapped out her response, slowly.  “Yes.  That is correct.  As you can see, I have cerebral palsy.  It is very severe.  I am fully cognizant, but it affects every part of my body.  I only have my eyes and some use of my head.  I have always been tube fed, am doubly incontinent, and have been completely dependent on a ventilator since I was 11.  In short, I am unfuckable.”  She made low, frustrated, involuntary sounds over the noise of her ventilator.

            Crystal frowned as Jane translated this to her, looking sad.  She pulled up her dress to reveal her own diaper, thick and white, with blue markings up the front.  Looking down at it, she spoke.  “It aww-kay.  Aw wew dye-paws too,” she said slowly, then saw the yellow stains in the white and the blue wetness indicator gone green. 

    “Fuck!” Crystal made a frustrated, angry noise.  She signed to Jane.  “ ‘Sorry.  I have very poor awareness of when I have accidents.  Its not sexy, I know’”  She let go of the front of her dress, but the way it fell back left her diaper still on display.  It showed off a tattoo along her left thigh, showing ribbons intertwining with her flesh.

            Ashley leaned down to wipe Amanda’s drool away, then stepped back while she responded.  “You do not have to be angry about wetting yourself,” Amanda typed, shrieking high, hoarse laughter.  “Ashley changed my diaper an hour ago and I am sure I am wet again already.  I am not ashamed of it.  You should not be either.  These are our bodies, and they must be our beautiful.  I am not beautiful in spite of my feeding tube, or my ventilator, or my diaper.  They are part of my beauty.  Your crutches, your braces, your diaper, they are part of your beauty.”

            “I am not ashamed of my body.  This is my body.  This is how I look.  Nothing will change that.  If I am not happy with who I am, I will be miserable because I cannot be anybody else.  People stare.  People point.  They tell jokes behind my back.  Instead of hiding from it, I embrace it.  I talk about it; I call them out.  I let them see that I wear a diaper, that I am fed through a tube, that I drool, make noises.”

            “I hate covering up any part of myself,” Amanda continued, “Anything I cover in shame or out of fear of mockery is a loss for me.  It is the assholes winning.  I am visible, and I am noticeable, and I try to be proud of that.”

            “What about you?”

            Crystal paused for several long moments, then signed with Jane.  “ ‘I try not to be, but it can be hard.  Our parents were understanding of my disabilities, but I had few friends in school and can be very shy in public.  My last girlfriend also had spina bifida, and she hated herself for it.  It was what broke us up.  Self hate is not sexy, and it rubbed off on me.  I have had a very hard time finding dates; most ablebodied women will not even look at me, let alone sleep with me.  It has been hard.’”

            Crystal stopped and blinked, suddenly realizing something important.

            “ ‘Wait.  You think I’m beautiful?’”

            Amanda shrieked in laughter again.  “That pink spike hair is hot.  You look at me without being embarrassed or repulsed.  You have nice lips and nice hands.  Plus I do not have to worry about being the only one to have an accident if you fuck me.  I did not think that would be sexy to me, but it is.”

            “What do you say?  Will you fuck me?  I want to give you your money’s worth, though we will have to discuss things first.  We probably will not be able to communicate once you start.  I have to confess, though, that I have never had sex with another person before.  I have a vibrator which works by Bluetooth.  Ashley puts it inside of me and I can control it with my switches.”

            “I have never been touched sexually by another person.  That is why I made the auction: I need this.”

            Amanda caught Crystal’s gaze and held it.  Her pale blue eyes met Crystal’s browns.  Ashley and Jane stayed quiet, letting the two work out that moment.  There was pleading in Amanda’s eyes, though Crystal had difficulty reading her spastic facial expressions.

            Crystal blinked first, turning to Jane, and signing rapidly, who flushed beet red before signing back.  Crystal signed again, making emphatic grunting noises as she emphasized a particular word.  Jane took a deep breath.

            “ ‘Yes.  I’ll have sex with you.  I admit, I am intimidated by how confident you are in your body.  It is very sexy, and I am not sure why.  It is weird for me to have sex on the first date, but this is a weird situation.’” 

            Rolling her head to look at Crystal better, Amanda’s mouth twitched at the sides, the closest she could get to a smile.  A line of drool hung from her mouth, falling onto her bib.  “I have an idea of how we can communicate better.  I bet your sister does not want to be here when we get it on.  You can use my tablet.  It is hooked up wirelessly to my Dynavox.  What I type will show up on it.  Then you set it to speak what you type.”

            It took a few minutes of fiddling with the two pieces of technology, but with Ashley and Jane’s help they managed to get it workable.  Jane politely excused herself, blushing beet red and looking absolutely embarrassed by the whole situation.

            Ashley looked to Crystal, making sure the other girl could see her lips clearly.  “Do you need help getting undressed?”  Crystal shook her head ‘no’.  “Mandy, do you want your diaper off before you two start?”

            “Not right now, please.  Crystal can take it off me when the time comes.”  Amanda winked at Crystal.  “She can take off her diaper as well, then.”

            Looking up from the tablet at what Amanda had typed, Crystal tapped out a response.  “How do you want to do this, then?”

            Amanda looked her over.  “First, take off your dress and your bra.  Slowly.  Then your shoes.  Leave your braces and your diaper on.  Crawl across the bed to me.  Let me see you coming; all of you.  Do you want to kiss me?”

            Crystal looked at Amanda’s body, naked save for the diaper around her waist.  Her eyes were becoming warm and hungry.  “Yea,” she said, not needing to use the tablet to agree.   

            “Then start at my knees and work your way up.  My body is weird.  I want you to get to know it first.  Enjoy yourself.  I do not know how it will react, how *I* will react, to intimate attention.  I want to find out.  You are going to show me.  End with a kiss on the mouth.”

            Tapping away, Crystal responded.  She was breathing hard, looking flushed.  Amanda realized that she would be as well, if she didn’t have her ventilator breathing for her.  “Then what?” 

            “Then take off my diaper.  Touch me, get to know me down there.  Take your diaper off as well, if you are comfortable with it. There are two chuck pads under me, in case I wet or mess myself.  It will work for you, too.”  At Crystal’s shocked expression, Amanda gave a low, grunting laugh.  “Do not be embarrassed.  Like I said, this is just how our bodies are.  It is part of our beauty.  I would be pretty hypocritical if I judged your body for not being able to control the same functions mine can’t control, either.”

            Crystal laughed and rolled her eyes.  “What do I get out of all this?”

            Frowning, Amanda was slower to type her response.  “Well…if it is your thing, you can use just about any part of me to get off.  Yeah, I know…it is not much to offer.  Or you could use my vibrator.  I can control its settings.  I like that idea; I want to be able to control how much pleasure you have.”

            Sitting back in the chair, Crystal thought things over.  “How about I try the first, and then we move to the second?  I like the idea of you having that control,” she typed out.  “I have never thought about someone doing that before.  I take back the angry things I said to Jane; this is crazy and I am turned on by it.”

            A high moan came out of Amanda’s mouth, her flabby stomach beating up and down.  Her head twitched from side to side.  Crystal looked to Ashley in alarm.  “Wa ith long?” she asked, worried.  Ashley dashed over to check Amanda, but smiled and looked at Crystal with relief.

            “I haven’t seen her laugh this hard in a long time,” Ashley replied, wiping away Amanda’s drool and holding her spasming body steady.  “It might take a few minutes for it to pass.  Its not exactly a seizure, but it can be hard for her to get her body to stop doing it.”  Tears ran from Amanda’s eyes, the high moaning sound continuous over the pumping of her ventilator.  Slowly, the tremors subsided.  Ashley repositioned Amanda and put a knocked aside pillow back under her.  “Mandy, are you going to be OK?”

            “Yes,” Amanda replied after a few long moments, “Sorry.  It is hard for me to control.  But I am happy.  I am turning a hot girl on, Ash.  How do you like them apples?”

            Ashley swatted Amanda lightly on the shoulder.  “Yeah yeah, you’re right.  I’m going to go sit over in the corner and read a magazine while you two enjoy sexy times.”  She left the bed and went to a chair by the window, turning on the lamp so she could read while keeping an eye on the two women.

            “Lets do this,” Amanda typed, trying her best to give Crystal a sultry look.  Crystal looked away for a moment, then back to Amanda, trying to compose herself.

            Holding the hem of her pinafore, Crystal slowly began to raise the dress again, over her diaper, then her chest, then up over her blouse.  As she was about to pull it over her head, she flashed Amanda a wink, then tossed the dress away.  Starting at the top, she began to unbutton her blouse, taking each button carefully, tugging at the sides of the blouse to accentuate the effect.  Amanda groaned in appreciation, eyes only for her.

            Crystal slipped off her blouse, revealing well toned arms and only a slight belly.  Her bra was plain, and she unhooked it from the front, leaning forward to bare her full, round breasts to Amanda.  A sprawling tattoo of pink, red, and purple roses wound its way up her left arm from the elbow and over her shoulder.   Smaller tattoos dotted her body: a rainbow handicap symbol, three cats chasing each other in a circle.  Small birds were tattooed over each of her breasts.

    The striptease left Crystal in just her diaper, leg braces, and shoes.  The diaper was wetter than when she had first shown it, but she paid it no mind.  Grabbing the arms of the chair, she stood on too-thin legs.  She let go of the arms and took two weak, wobbling steps towards the bed before collapsing onto it.  Crystal could not take anymore steps on her own without the aid of her crutches.  It was enough.

            Landing with most of her torso on the bed, Crystal slowly crawled up towards Amanda.  Rolling over, she struggled to bring both of her weak, partially paralyzed legs up onto the bed.  She tried to make a show of it, rolled on her back.  Grabbing one thigh with both hands, she pulled her leg up, then arched her bag and ran her hands up her thigh, over her diaper, and up her chest.  The next leg followed and she repeated the routine.

            Rolling onto her stomach again, Crystal carefully raised herself up and got her knees under her, allowing her to crawl across the queen sized bed towards Amanda.  Amanda’s groaning was continuous now, working with the rhythm of her ventilator.  Her left arm spasmed, causing it to flap about beside her body. 

        Crystal ran her hands over Amanda’s feet first.  Amanda’s toenails were painted a dark maroon, and carefully trimmed to keep the nails from digging into her feet.  Bending down, Crystal planted a kiss on the top of each foot.  She began working her way up Amanda’s legs, running fingers lightly over her dark skin, feeling the tight, thin muscles underneath.  Going down further, Crystal brushed her breasts over the legs, continuing the kisses up to the knees, which overlapped.  She gently tried to pry them apart, but the muscles were tightly contracted.

        Crawling to one side, Crystal came up beside the other woman, planting more kisses up Amanda’s thighs until her lips met the black diaper.  It had been thick to begin with, but Crystal discovered that it had expanded considerably.  Amanda had wet herself quite heavily, but the smell was faint and mostly covered by those of lotion and baby powder.  There were still flicks of the powder, the white dusting standing out against the darkness of Amanda’s inner thighs.  Crystal playfully pushed on the diaper with one hand, kneading Amanda’s crotch before continuing.

        Moving her kisses up Amanda’s little belly, Crystal gently teased at the g-tube button with her lips.  Careful not to dislodge it or cause any real pain, she kept going.  Amanda’s chest rose and fell with her ventilator.  Crystal ran her lips along Amanda’s breasts.  She could feel the other woman’s pulse racing under her mouth as her lips enveloped one of Amanda’s nipples, sucking on it and running her tongue over it.  Amanda’s left arm was frantically flapping at this point, and accidentally knocked Crystal in the face, almost dislodging her glasses.

        Gently taking the spasming arm in her hands, Crystal kissed it on the elbow, working kisses down it to the shoulder, then down the shoulder to Amanda’s other breast.  She kissed and sucked on it, as she had with its twin, and worked her kisses up Amanda’s sternum to her neck.  Crystal got one arm under Amanda’s body, and gently ground her own diapered crotch into Amanda’s stiff, spastic legs. 

        Finally came a kiss on the mouth.  Crystal held her lips above Amanda’s, gently teasing the spastic girl’s drooly lips with her own.  It was a difficult kiss; Amanda’s lips were open too wide, making Crystal kiss them from the side, gently licking her tongue along them.  Amanda’s eyes tracked her all the while, the sound of her groaning rising in pitch.  Crystal humped Amanda’s leg again, reaching a hand down to stroke the wet black diaper.  Finally, she went in face first, parting her lips enough to meet Amanda’s own, running her tongue along Amanda’s snaggled teeth.

        Coming up for air, she brushed her face against Amanda’s and carefully pulled herself into a sitting position. It took some time to arrange her legs properly, but Crystal was sure not to let Amanda go without attention.  Running one finger down Amanda’s chest, Crystal began slowly tearing the tapes away from Amanda’s diaper.  With each tape, she counted out loud and ran a finger over Amanda’s mouth. 

        “Un.”

        “Too.”

       “Hwee.”

        “Fo.”

        Crystal pulled down the front of Amanda’s diaper.  It was soaked inside, leaving the cleanly shaven black skin glistening and moist.  Crystal pulled the heavy diaper off the other woman, tilting Amanda’s body to do so, leaving her completely naked. 

        The two women lay next to each other on the chuck pads.  Crystal worked her hand between Amanda’s legs and began stroking her gently, slowly working up the pressure and speed.  Amanda’s eyes crossed and she began moaning, the sound rising over her ventilator.  Her head spasmed against the foam pillows supporting it, and tremors built in her arms as Crystal’s fingers worked their way inside her.  Her body shook and twisted, forcing Crystal to bring an arm around to hold Amanda tight.

        As she climaxed, Amanda’s legs tightened, her thighs coming together around Crystal’s hand.  Amanda’s bladder and bowels released.  Crystal yelped in pain and surprised, furiously working her hand free, wiping it off on the chuck pad beneath her.   The liquid mess coming out of Amanda was caught entirely by the chuck pads, but it stank. 

        Ashley looked up from her magazine and swore.  She ran over to the two and helped Crystal roll away from Amanda before she got anything on her.  Amanda’s eyes were rolled up in her head as she basked in the afterglow, and she barely noticed as Ashley removed the soiled pad and slipped a clean one under her.  She was out of it, completely lost in bliss.  Ashley took the time to clean Amanda thoroughly with wipes, putting everything away in a plastic bag and sealing it shut.  A few spritzes of air freshener and the room was much more livable.

        Crystal rolled back over beside Amanda and spooned against her small, twisted body.  She stroked Amanda’s cheek and breasts with her hands before eventually resting one hand on Amanda’s stomach.  She didn’t notice when her own bladder let go, filling her diaper

        Slowly, Amanda came back to her senses.  “Ashley,” she typed, “Could you please give Crystal the tablet?  I would like to talk to her again.”

        Ashley came over and passed the tablet to Crystal.  She directed Crystal’s attention to the state of her diaper.  “Do you want me to get you a clean one?” she asked slowly, making sure to enunciate so Crystal could more easily read her lips.

        “Yes, please,” Crystal replied through the tablet, “They are in my bag.”

        “Do you want to go back in one while I’m at it, Mandy?”

        Amanda paused.  “I shit myself, didn’t I?”

        “Yeah.  Yeah you did.”

        “I am sorry.”

        “Not like you could help it.  Which one do you feel like wearing?” Ashley said as she took a clean diaper from Crystal’s satchel.

        “The blue one, please,” Amanda replied.  Ashley went into Amanda’s diaper bag and came out with a thick, dark blue diaper covered in word balloons and sound effects.  She scooted Crystal over, and went to work getting Amanda into the new diaper.  Like the one before, it was enormous around her small body, and looked especially puffy around her waist.

        “Crystal, would you like help changing?” Ashley asked Crystal, again making sure the other woman could clearly see her lips.  Crystal nodded in the affirmative.  Ashley went into Crystal’s messenger bag and came out with another white and blue diaper.  She leaned over Crystal and untapped her now soaked diaper, pulling it away from her hairless crotch.  Thankfully, Crystal was only wet, and it was quick and easy to get her cleaned up and rediapered.  Ashley handed Crystal back the tablet.

        “Is it my turn now?” Crystal typed.

        “Yes.  Yes it is,” Amanda replied with bright eyes and a contenteded groan.

        “Lets do it.”

        It was a good night.  In the morning there would be no regrets.  There would be many more like it to come.

Comments


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:iconparacathy:
Paracathy Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
Thank you for the watch :) 
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:iconnarxn:
narxn Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016
Been a fan of your stuff for years.  Kind of had to :)
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:iconlance-the-young:
Lance-the-young Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2016
Appreciate the watch. ^^
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:iconleorilie:
Leorilie Featured By Owner May 7, 2015
thank you for the watch
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:iconnarxn:
narxn Featured By Owner May 8, 2015
You're welcome!  The outfits you put together are AWESOME!
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:iconleorilie:
Leorilie Featured By Owner May 10, 2015
Awwweh, thank you so much XD
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:iconnarxn:
narxn Featured By Owner May 12, 2015
Welcome :)  Also you clued me in that there are disposable adult swim diapers, rather than just cloth/washable ones.  That's really cool! :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconyaythemoo:
YayTheMoo Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012
Thanks for faving! :)
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:icongenericpetname:
genericpetname Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for watching me. :)
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:iconkiwi-the-fruit:
Kiwi-the-fruit Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2011
Thanks for the fav!
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